I’ve had time to get used to the idea so it isn’t as shocking for me as it might be for some friends when they hear the news. When I was younger I really didn’t want to have kids. Sure, I could imagine aspects of it that would be fun or rewarding but on balance the lifestyle I wanted to lead wasn’t compatible with being a good father. I knew I didn’t want to have children unless I would do a good job. If I was ever going to do it I wanted to do it right.
Also, from my point of view at the time, there really isn’t anything spectacular about my genetics so it would pretty much just be selfish on my part. (No offense Mom and Dad!) The world already has too many people in it and cranking out more “because I want to” even though it helps doom us all is pretty self-centered.
Then I met Jalaine and saw how important it is to her. If you love somebody, helping them achieve their dreams is a part of what you sign up for when you get married right? So, I transitioned from “No thanks.” to “Cautiously willing.” It helps that many of the things I wanted to do that wouldn’t work with having kids I have done. I always feel bad for folks who at some level quietly resent their family because of the things they didn’t get to do in their youth.
Anyway, I’m pretty comfortable selfishly sacrificing the greater good in the name of Jalaine’s fulfillment and my own chance to experience parenting. I probably should feel guilty about it but, well, nope!
Something else that really helps my comfort level is how certain I am that Jalaine is going to be a fantastic mom. She is going to totally rock it. If you happen to watch Modern Family she will be Claire and I’ll be Phil though neither of us are as extreme as those characters. She really loves kids which is kind of a mystery to me. (Even other people’s!) I’ll take a cat or dog any day.
I have spoken to a wide array of dudes who assure me that their own kids seem awesome compared to the squalling brats at the grocery store. It has been a unanimous vote so I’m pretty confident it will work for me too. So, even though I’m an animal person I am looking forward to meeting our mini-people when they arrive!
I’m tired of typing so this is the end of this post.